Update on the Paul Johnson Family within the Tribe of Parn

As I sit here in early November attempting to put in writing some of the thoughts running through my mind regarding the changes that have occurred in my branch of the Otto’s Kids family tree, I have a feeling that this will end up resembling an annual family Christmas letter. Knowing that some find such letters a challenge to read while others find them to be of general interest, I hope that for the most part the latter will be true here.

I retired in June, 2013, after serving for 13 years as the Bereavement Services Supervisor with HealthPartners Hospice & Palliative Care. I was able to choose my retirement date and have found my retirement experience to be very positive. In June of this year I also retired from the Adjunct Professor position with Bethel University that I had held since 1995. Given all of the freedom that retirement brings and in spite of the personal satisfaction my work brought me, I would find it challenging to be back in a full-time work situation.

My retirement time is filled with a variety of activities that provide just the right amount of challenge and responsibility to keep life interesting. Included in those activities is my work as an on-call support staff member with Bradshaw Funeral Homes where I was employed for 15 years earlier in my professional career. I’m called in to help staff funerals, drive the hearse for funerals, or transport a body to/from another location in the upper Midwest area. The nice thing about this position is I can decline a work request if there is something else on my schedule that I consider to be more important—like lunch with a family member or friend.

Pickleball is another retirement activity that has provided a variety of positive contributions to my life. I usually play about 3-4 times a week and have found it to be an excellent source of physical exercise as well as a place to socialize with a variety of interesting individuals.  My pickleball friends have become like my former work colleagues—seeing and interacting with them being one of the highlights of my day.

I continue to be asked to speak on issues related to loss, grief, and bereavement in various settings. Local bereavement support groups, Stephen Ministry programs, and other lay caregiver training ministries extend regular invitations to come and share my information with their members. I am also a member of a teaching team for our adult Sunday School class which requires on-going preparation for the Sundays when I am the leader.

Another thing that retirement has allowed is an increased amount of time spent with and caring for Barb. Her brain tumor that was initially diagnosed in 2002 and then followed by complications in 2006, has impacted her life significantly. In spite of the challenges her medical conditions have provided for her, she continues to live her life graciously.

Though somewhat limited in what she can do because of short-term memory challenges, hearing limitations, and mobility issues, Barb maintains a surprisingly positive outlook on life. She enjoys our weekend trips to the cabin in the summer, spending time reading books with our grandchildren, and participating in family gatherings. Her current project involves pulling together information about her mother’s family with the intention of initiating a family reunion at some time in the future. The determination with which she has approached this project is quite amazing.

Oldest son, Seth, and his wife, Christin, live with their four children in White Bear Lake. The activities of their kids–Noah (9), Caleb (7), Luke (5), and Hannah (3)—make for a very active household. Their home, with its wooded area in back complete with a zip line built by Seth, seems to always be the center of activity with all of the neighborhood kids.

Seth has been the manager of a Midas Automotive Center near Rosedale Shopping Center for several years and just this year was made General Manager of all nine Midas locations around the Twin Cities owned by the Stranik Company. He has both the mechanical abilities and people skills to be successful in what often is a high stress environment. Christin is primarily responsible for the home schooling of their kids as well as working a couple of weekends a month as an occupational therapist at North Memorial Medical Center.

They have been challenged in the last couple of years with the fact that two of their boys, Caleb (in August of last year) and Luke (in October of this year), have experienced major surgery to correct what is called chiari malformation. In this congenital condition, brain tissue extends into the spinal canal and requires surgery to correct it. We are grateful that this condition was identified early and that the medical expertise needed to correct the problem was available locally at Children’s Hospital.  Caleb has progressed well in his recovery and Luke is in the early phases of his and is handling the challenges in this time of healing.

Second son, Adam, and his wife, Emily, live with their two sons in St. Paul. Caring for Leo (3) and his recently-born brother Otis (11 weeks) makes for a busy household for them as well. Adam and Emily are very involved in community events and enjoy bringing the boys to participate in things that are appropriate for them. Saturday morning outings with boys in tow to sporting events, doughnut shops, or downtown activities are regular items on their calendar.

Adam is Vice President of Marketing & Media Relations for Visit Saint Paul, a company that promotes the city of St. Paul and encourages individuals and organizations from around the world to hold their conventions in the city. Traveling to other cities to promote St. Paul is a regular activity. Because the Ryder Cup Golf Tournament will be held in the Twin Cities in 2016, Adam was able to travel to Scotland where it was held this past year to promote St. Paul. Adam is always quick to promote St. Paul over Minneapolis, and I like the tee-shirt he has which says “The Bible talks a lot about Saint Paul . . . but doesn’t even mention Minneapolis.”

Emily is quickly approaching the end of her maternity leave from her position with Summit Brewery in St. Paul and is experiencing some of the normal feelings associated with that. They fortunately have a day care center close to their home that provides excellent care and learning experiences for the boys.

Something that I am very grateful for concerning Adam occurred this past August when he celebrated his one-year sobriety anniversary. By his own admission he realized that he was having some challenges with the use of alcohol and entered a program sponsored by a local church. He, and with the support of Emily accompanying him, has faithfully attended the weekly meetings. The thing that pleases me most is that Adam has been very transparent with family members and his hundreds of Facebook friends in sharing this journey. I am sure his openness has been an encouragement to others facing similar challenges.

Daughter Amanda lives in her own apartment in Vadnais Heights and is in her 10th year of employment with Target. She has moved up the ranks from where she started and is now a cashier, a position that requires a lot of diplomacy on her part given some of the challenges that customers bring to the check out situation. Her friendly and easy-going demeanor helps a great deal in her work. She continues to amaze me with her ability to get anywhere and everywhere in the Twin Cities using public transportation.

Amanda loves spending time with her niece and nephews and often finds items (on sale) that she enjoys sharing with them. She is also an avid bowler and enjoys the time she and her friends spend at the alley. She looks forward to her at least annual trips to visit her grandma in Florida and has become quite skillful in mastering the challenges of making it through busy airports on her own.

Barb’s oldest daughter, Noelle, lives with her family in Pick City, ND, which unfortunately is about a 9 hour drive from us. For that reason we do not get to see them as often as we would like. Lee and Noelle own and manage a restaurant and bar that is popular with the clientele that come to the area for fishing, snowmobiling, and other outdoor activities. Tyler recently turned 21 and is currently taking a break from the college program he began last year. Anna (16) is a junior and currently making decisions about where she will go to college. I’m pleased that becoming a funeral director is something she is seriously considering. Gretchen (12) is in 6th grade and gets a lot of enjoyment from a variety of artistic skills she possesses.

Barb’s youngest daughter, Katie, lives with her husband, Patrick, and sons, Michael (7) and Ethan (4) in the nearby suburb of Cottage Grove. Living only 10 minutes away, we are able to spend considerably more time with them. Katie is a teacher and focuses her time on working with students who have had challenges in the traditional school setting. She recently submitted her thesis for the completion of her Master’s Degree in special education through Bethel University. Patrick’s work makes him the guy everyone wants to know—he solves computer problems as a help desk technician with a local company. Michael and Ethan are typically active boys who enjoy everything from super heroes to computer games. Katie and Patrick have recently purchased a home to replace the townhome where they have been living and plan to be all moved in by the end of the year.

So there you have a summary of some of the things that have been occurring in my branch of Parn’s tribe. It’s hard to believe that this year marked the 20th anniversary of her death. I know she and Dad were proud of their grandchildren and would be proud of the great-grandchildren they never had the luxury of meeting.

Being at some relative’s house almost every Sunday to celebrate someone’s birthday; Bible School at Wood River Church and playing softball in the parking lot; falling into the pigpen at Sandberg’s farm, taking an embarrassing bath in the kitchen sink to clean up, and having to wear Judie’s underwear for the rest of that day; getting my hand in the wringer washing machine at Sandberg’s; sleeping out on their summer porch; piling rocks around Tyberg’s barnyard; staying at Fred and Annie’s for a week with Rick, Steve, and Peter; playing basketball and Ping-Pong in Delroy’s basement; church league softball at “Cow pie Pie Stadium” in Falun; the great singing at Wood River and all family gatherings; surfboarding at Wood Lake, running past the “fiery furnace” when going to visit Uncle Irvin at the creamery; eating fresh peas that fell off the truck in Alpha; great food—home-made bread and buns, fried chicken, rice pudding.

As I think back on nearly 70 years of membership in this unique and special group of relatives, I’m grateful for the many experiences that made life growing up in the Peterson relation—as well as continuing on into adulthood—so special. It obviously was “a different time and a different place” from what we are able to experience now, but what things contributed to making it so special?

I think one of the factors that made it so special is that we had the luxury of growing up in the same geographical area that allowed us to experience life with each other on a very regular basis. With the exception of the tribes of Rudy and Roger who had relocated to the west coast, all the rest of us were born and raised in the communities of Grantsburg, Alpha, Falun, and Webster, WI. We’ve all heard that “it takes a village” to successfully raise kids, but we took that one better and had the luxury of being raised by a “relation.”

Growing up in such close proximity meant that a number of things could happen: Sunday afternoon birthday parties where all the cousins were together happened on a regular basis. “City slicker” cousins from Grantsburg could spend time on their uncles’ farms “helping” to get various chores done. Cousins could stay at their aunts/uncles homes when their own parents were busy with other responsibilities. Cousins could participate at school together in such things as athletic events, band and choral concerts, junior and senior class plays. Produce from gardens was gladly shared with those who didn’t have a garden. Fresh, home made bread and delicious fried chicken—now only enjoyed on special occasions—were on the daily menu at the farm and even relatives who weren’t actually helping in the threshing process were invited to come and enjoy them.

Being that close to each other geographically really made a difference. As I think about the cousins who grew up under the “Parn branch” of the family tree, they were spread out in such places as Thief River Falls, MN, St. Paul, MN, Muskegon, MI, and Des Moines, IA. Seeing each other was pretty much limited to holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas, or maybe occasionally being together for a little while during the summer at the cabin. What a difference being in different locations made.

Another factor contributing to the specialness of our up-bringing that is closely related to what I have already mentioned but deserving of special attention all its own is the fact that so many of us grew up attending Wood River Baptist Church. If there had not been reason to see our relatives during the week, we always knew that we would see them at church on Sunday because hardly ever was anyone absent.

Special, and somewhat random, memories of things that happened at Wood River Baptist Church include the following and more:

Sitting with Irvin and LaVone, instead of with your parents, and hoping to get a piece of Doublemint gum that they always seemed to have.

Bible School during the summer. Playing “workup” in the parking lot during the noon break. Othelia insisting that the Bible be placed on the top of all of our materials as we straightened our spots around the long, lineoleum-covered tables before leaving for home for the day.

LaVone telling flannel-graph stories of the hen that protected her chicks from the fire or the boy who lost his boat and had to buy it back.

Delroy as Sunday School Superintendent leading the opening exercises and commenting to a college student who was there with his girlfriend, “She isn’t the same one you had here with you last weekend, is she?”

Listening to the Peterson Quartette made up of Delroy, Maurice, Parn, and Verone with Lois Erickson at the organ singing, ”On the Jericho Road.”

Participating in CYF events on the weekend and occasionally going to larger Youth For Christ events where Louie and Phil Palermo would be the featured artists.

Watching the deacons who had just served communion simultaneously pull on their pants just above their knees just prior to sitting down in the two chairs on either side of the communion table and in the front pew.

Christmas programs where tears from young participants and chuckles from people in the audience were commonplace.

Missions meetings where visiting missionaries would show slides, some of which were of people with leprosy that almost made you cover your eyes.

Of all of the influences that my involvement at Wood River had on me, I think the one that has lasted the longest and the one that I continue to cherish to this day is the importance that singing the hymns and songs of the faith had. We grew up singing all of those songs and in the process learned all the verses. I’m glad that I have found a radio station in the Twin Cities that still plays these songs and when I find it difficult to sleep in the middle of the night I turn this station on and sing along. What a great heritage!!

Certain songs were sung at certain times of the year and it just wasn’t really Christmas until you had heard Janet Gruehl sing, “Do You Worship the Babe of the Manger but Reject the Christ of the Cross?”

Hopefully some of these random memories have sparked some memories for you as well. As we grew up, I don’t think we were aware of what a special situation we had—and probably weren’t as thankful for it then as we should have been.  How fortunate we are to be able to look back and reminisce about what it meant to grow up as members of the Otto and Hulda Peterson family.